The Mackeson Institute Presents Its Current Favorite Song

Waxahatchee's "Right Back To It" featuring MJ

Is it just me or does this ole world get a little too crazy to deal with sometimes. Sometimes I need a break. Brakes are important, especially the ones on your car. Car's in the shop right now which gave me a chance to dig a little deeper into some new music. Music soothes the soul like so few things can. Can it save the world is something one may ponder and it depends on what music you listen to. Two different artists doing the same song can sometimes break your heart in different ways whether you are listening in the car, a waiting room where the music is piped in or on the can in the adjacent loo as well. I started off listening to videos of covers on this particular morning. Videos of covers generally involve the covering artist standing in front of a microphone often while strumming a guitar, tickling ivories of a piano or keyboard. One of my favorites involved a standup bass which made me think of a new non-cover video I had recently seen.

Sandwiched between Wax Taylor and Waylon Jennings was a little bacon, egg, cheese and green chili on a chilly morning by the name of Waxahatchee. Her new song has been burning up the playlist recently at the Institute headquarters. You would think some 1960s record exec was threatening to break the legs of some hapless FM DJ if he doesn't enthusiastically shove some bubblegum pop hit down the throats of all the innocent kids within a 25 mile radius give or take a few. Luckily all of us like the song about the same amount. Which is a lot. I mean, Waxahatchee just came in and bitch slapped Kneecap out of the top slot. No one saw it coming. Then again, none of us knew we were hardcore fans of Irish hip hop either before a few months ago.

As great as the song may be, the video is what brought me to knees. Unlike covers, many videos show the artists doing things and sometimes it is the things they do not do in the video which reveal the artist's true genius. That being bass fishing in the video for Waxahatchee's "Right Back to It" featuring that boy MJ who normally plays with Wednesday which can be found right below Waylon separated only by Webb Wilder. "Chosen to Deserve" certainly did not deserve the smackdown from the top slot they received from "Better Way To Live" but all parties involved knew the music industry was brutal when they signed up.

MJ has switched out the buggy he was driving Wednesday around in "Quarry" (another top slot holder) for a genuine bass buggy. MJ is skillfully piloting Waxahatchee through a cypress swamp which I could not resist jumping aboard with the kids right away. Now MJ, you need to slow down so I can work a my 7.5" moccasin rubber worm along these here cypress knees. It looks like the sun is going down and MJ is keeping his same pace, so I'll switch to a top water plug for working both sides of this little canal. Now you are fine dancing around up front there Waxahatchee. Just stay where you are so I don't catch you with one of the three sets of razor sharp treble hooks I'll be whipping back and forth for this stretch. Let's shut the engine off for a second so I can tie this little frog on and see what's hiding under these lily pads. Might better go weedless with a trick worm. It would be a fine time for you to play your guitar MJ. Won't take me long here. Hey, why didn't yall invite Wednesday to come along? Was she too fucked up to get on a boat? Probably would have been fine as long as she stayed inside the rails with her life jacket on. Goddamn! Did y'all see that one jump. Hey MJ, I can drive if you got a foot controlled trolling motor or something. Guessing it doesn't have one. Didn't want seem rude earlier but a bass buggy really ain't the best thing for this type of fishing. Did you buy yourself this one in Texas? Are we in Texas right now? Looks more like Lower Alabama to me. Oh, I see you are driving us out to middle of the lake where there is little structure and appropriate bass habitat. Guess I'll just get fucked up and listen to Waxahatchee sing now. I never would have requested it myself but your harmony does work quite nicely here.

Did you two know that large swaths of cypress trees and the adjacent knees are one big organism? Not all but a lot of them are. Aspen trees are the same too. Aspens are actually second only to mushrooms for largest organism in the world. Now the mushrooms that grow on a cow patty generally do not extent beyond the cow patty they originate on. Did yall bring any?

Just read this funny story about this group of southerners who loaded up the wagons and headed west after the Civil War. They ended up joining the Mormons in Utah. I can only assume the powers to be didn't want them around in Salt Lake so they were sent to the Southwest part of the Beehive State. They called this new land Dixie. I'm serious. And guess what crop they tried to grow. Yep, it was cotton. Only cotton did not do very well in the dry desert southwest portion of canyon country. I wish they would have tried planting cypress trees instead. Probably would have suffered the same fate. But could you imagine how beautiful a cypress swamp would be in those red canyon rivers. Wouldn't have been the same without bass but still would be awful nice. So these dumb mother fuckers ended up running cattle down there in what is probably one of the worst places in the country to run cattle. The buffalo were even smart enough to not hang out in these lands. 110 degree days that never seem to end and quick sand are formidable forces especially considering the lack of shade.

Oh, I didn't notice Waxahatchee debarked and went up in the treehouse. Hope I wasn't being a bore. Is her boyfriend up there? I'll just stay here and try this here little jitterbug while I can still see a little. I got some DEET if yall need it. 95%. That natural smell good stuff ain't worth a shit up in here this time of day. I guess I'll take the joint if you don't mind. DEET in the eyes ain't no joke. I'll just hold it in my mouth and smoke my face up.

Ah shit. Who am I fooling? I am about as far as one could be from being on boat fishing some backwater swamp with Waxahatchee and MJ. I am merely procrastinating my letter to Lindsey Graham which he has not been making any easier by running his mouth off in every direction  like a 10 year old who may have been caught masturbating at a family reunion but is not sure who may have saw the deed or whether they will be magnanimous. Lindsey actually said it was nuts to even consider a ceasefire in Gaza and how he would have told any group calling for a ceasefire after 9/11 to go to hell. Does he remember that it was NATO who helped us out in Afghanistan? Not many groups were asking for a ceasefire at the time. As a matter of fact, most of the world wanted to buy us a coke after witnessing our tragedy. Though Lindsey proudly served in Afghanistan by walking around the backlines with his garter belt strap on pistol, his weapon served more for show than go. Now this fucking French tickler twit is completely ignoring the lesson the USA should have learned by letting rage guide our better avenging angels.

And what exactly does Russia have on our senior Senator from the Palmetto State for him to turn his back on a country such as Ukraine especially when one considers the circumstances of the Budapest Memorandum signed in 1994? Lindsey may not believe he is supposed to honor deals occurring during his triumphant honeymoon period between election and taking his place in the House. Senior Senator Strom may have not filled him in on the details. What country would ever agree to giving up nukes in the future after watching the cowardly betrayal of Ukraine by the United States? Does Lindsey really think we are setting the right example on how to handle aggressive land grabs by nuclear powers? Putin is weak. And his weakness does not necessarily mean he will use a nuke if cornered. He wants to remain in power like all authoritarians do. Any country who chooses to casually use a nuke in an unnecessary war will be a pariah even amongst pariahs. Or maybe Lindsey thinks we should let Putin bluff the USA on one of the most daunting and dangerous issues facing the current and future leaders of the world?

Instead of writing a letter maybe I should just duck tape Lindsey's sorry ass to a folding chair on a bass buggy for a boat ride in the middle of a cypress swamp. Only if Lindsey agreed to board the boat by his own accord of course. Lindsey would not be in any type of danger unless Wednesday was driving the boat which would put us all in the same type of situation regarding imminent danger. We'd take him up to Waxahatchee's treehouse and make him listen to a few songs. Assuming this would calm Lindsey down a bit, we would then proceed to try and talk some sense into him. If Lindsey were still to be uncomfortable due to his mistaken judgement of ill intent in MJ's eyes as opposed to the look just being a young, road weariness enhanced by possibly weed or second smoke, I would take the young musician for a quick noodling demonstration while the girls try to make headway with the veteran Senator. Lord knows us men have failed mightily in any bid for reasoning with this Trump cult. Even if Waxahatchee and Wednesday turned out to be avid Trump supporters themselves, maybe they could at least explain the basics of the current wars and how not to be a complete bitch when faced with a old man dochebag whether he be foreign or even in one's immediate family.

Life is full or unknowns and mysteries. Like what does one do when the estimate for car repairs amounts to 78% of the original sticker price for a 10 year old Nissan. Not sure if this advice matters a ton or even a little, but use caution when bringing your vehicle to a place rhyming with the first four letters of kompromat.

Davis McBeauregard Jefferson

The Mackeson Institute

An Extreme Moderate Think Tank